What’s in it for You?

If you choose to walk the path of the Buddha-dharma, you are interested in a teaching that is pertinent to the state of your life right now. If you are interested in responses to questions such as how life began or what happens to you after you die, you may want to check out some other religious tradition.

Therefore, when we hear or read something relating to the dharma, we may expect to learn something that instantly makes itself clear. On one hand, the Buddhist teaching is pretty straightforward. After all, it must apply to all people, at all times, everywhere. On the other hand, while the dharma may make sense, it’s not always easy to discern, practice, or apply. On top of that, we have the dubious distinction of being marked as a society of people who have many choices and are prone to “instant gratification.” It’s natural that we seek pleasure and ease even when we’re trying to figure out something as complicated as our lives.

Though sharing our understanding of the teachings is always a joy for ministers, we are cognizant that we must address so many different people at the same time, each of whom receives the message in a different way. It may touch one person deeply, while another may be thoroughly mystified, indifferent, or even critical. Apparently this challenge dates back to the earliest days, for a well-known story about Shakyamuni Buddha relates that he was able to communicate his message clearly with hundreds of thousands of people at the same time, to each in a manner that resonated uniquely, personally and precisely. That the story even exists may be an indication that more than a few frustrated or dejected dharma teachers saw this as an elusive ideal. An elder minister once advised me that even if we could get the point across to one person, it would be an accomplishment.

So what are you to do, and what can you get out of every service you attend or dharma article you encounter? First, sit back and relax. No matter who the speaker or author, try to have an open and unbiased mind, as though you are listening to this precious teaching for the first time. Hear the words or the story. Sometimes that’s all you will hear. Some people love the stories but they never get to the next step, which is to ask, “What does it mean?” Good stories can often be received on different levels. Recently I heard that the latest Pixar/Disney movie, Inside Out, could be enjoyed by both children and adults for different reasons entirely. For a speaker’s purposes, being entertaining might be a useful tool but a good story is only as good as the lesson it carries. Sometimes we can figure out what the lesson was for the person who was relating it, but it may not occur to us to ask ourselves, “What does it tell me about myself?” That’s the most important part of the process on the dharma path. Think of the message as if it were the last message you would ever hear, meant only for you.

Sometimes people do tell me afterwards that they thought I was talking about them in the dharma talk. This is never the case specifically. In fact, many ministers use their own foibles as examples to show we are foolish, delusional beings who are badly in need of, and constantly receive, great compassion. But it’s often the case that many people do the same kinds of unskilful things and receive the same unconditional compassion, and if we could hold up a mirror to ourselves, we might see that the story is really about “me.” Then we can reflect deeply and sincerely and truly learn something about ourselves in relation to life. And this might help us to live our lives more fully, joyfully, and gratefully. Isn’t that desirable?

Even if we think we get nothing at all from the message, we can take note of our reaction to it or to the speaker/author to learn something about ourselves. Are we judgmental and critical? Do we always want things to be pleasant, comfortable, and “my way”? Are we impatient? Inflexible? Resistant to change? Insincere? Arrogant? Self-cherishing? Negative? We can learn all kinds of things about ourselves, and at the very least, become grateful for the compassion we receive even as we are such beings.

Namo Amida Butsu.

Gassho,

Rev. Patricia Usuki