Thoughts on This Thanksgiving

Arigatai … Literally meaning “difficult to have or be,” Arigatai refers to that state of profound gratitude to other people and indeed to all beings working for one’s benefit. It is based upon the awareness of the fundamental Oneness of life, of the fact that all things are working for our spiritual understanding and benefit. The Japanese word for “Thank you – Arigatō” has the above sense of gratitude to all beings.

From Cocktails by Rev. Masao Kodani

However, as a Buddhist, I feel our understanding of thanksgiving should be broader in scope. We should go further and extend our gratitude and appreciation to every living and non-living thing and to the many causes and conditions that go into making life possible and not just on Thanksgiving Day but every day, every moment.

Thursday, November 24, Americans all over will celebrate Thanksgiving. As a Nation, we’ve designated one day each year to give thanks for our blessings. As Americans we’re supposed to feel gratitude on Thanksgiving Day, and not merely for being able to stuff ourselves with turkey, and then to sit in front of the tube to watch football. But hopefully on this day most of us will feel grateful to be alive and to feel fortunate to be able to live in such a beautiful and great country.

Actually, Thanksgiving Day should be a real eye opener for us, because it gives us an opportunity to realize how un-thankful we really are the other 364 days of the year.

I began with the definition of arigatai from the booklet entitled Cocktails, written by Rev. Mas Kodani. And as we gather with family and friend this Thanksgiving, I would like to share my thoughts with you about being thankful

Like so many Japanese words, arigatai, cannot be defined with one single word. Words like shikata-ga-nai, gaman, enryo, mottainai, gokurosama, okage-sama-de, gochisosama, or itadakimasu can express an ideal or be so philosophically profound. These words also pack ethical values as well as cultural attitudes. But first and foremost, these words express a fundamental realization and attitude in Japanese Buddhism. Some of these words I just mentioned truly express a profound sense of gratitude.

For many of you the meaning of these words is second nature. This has been ingrained into you, since child­hood. Unfortunately, gratitude and appreciation must be cultivated and one must become aware of them. Especially in today’s society we place more emphasis on self-reliance. Western society conditions us to be self-made and independent. In that context, we don’t want to think about our indebtedness to others, including those who came before us.

You are truly fortunate because these expressions of gratitude and appreciation have been passed down through the insights and knowledge given to you by your grandparents, parents, relatives, and friends … even ministers past. You have been so fortunate to be endowed with the right causes and conditions to receive this awareness.

Even though at times the meaning may become diluted … the feeling and the potential for understanding is there. For example, the late Rev. Russell Hamada told me this story:

One of the older Issei ministers preformed a hoji (memorial service) at a member’s home. After the service, the wife served the minister tea and dessert. After the visit, the young daughter of the Nisei couple picked up the dessert and said “mottainai,” and proceeded to put the dessert into a Tupperware and put into the refrigerator. The minister, so impressed with the young Sansei, asked her where she learned of such a word. She said from bachan. When he asked her if she knew what it meant … she said “sure … it means to wrap it up and put it into the refrigerator.”

Although the young Sansei didn’t know what the word meant, she did understand the feeling. And just like young children say itadakimasu and gochisosama before and after every meal, it’s cultivating awareness that children get to experience and some day understand.

As for myself, it took a divorce, a change in career, and a stroke to began to look at my life with open eyes, and I saw much for which to be grateful. I took inventory of my life’s assets: my health (at least I was breathing), the support and love from my two wonderful daughters, their health and happiness, my mom, brother and sister and their family and all my aunts and uncles who watched over my children while I was studying in Berkeley and Japan. I was so fortunate to still have so many wonderful friends who cared deeply about me too.

It was through awareness that helped me appreciate all these wonderful people and events. And it was also this awareness that helped me understand the “not so nice things” that happened in my life. In my anger, sorrow, and greed, this awareness guided me to see life “as it really was,” not “how I wanted it.”

So this Thanksgiving let us remember when we act out of deep-felt gratitude, we become less self-centered. It’s these moments of thankfulness that open our hearts to joy, fill us with peace, and connect us to those around us.

To feel truly grateful enriches our own experience of life.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!  Namo Amida Butsu